I have trouble with balance. In Yoga class and in life.

The balance poses in Yoga class are the hardest for me. I have an easier time with flowing from one asana to the next, breathing and moving on my mat, feeling the rhythm of my body responding to the teachers cue for the next pose.

In life, every day there are cues from many forces for me to move from one place, task, person to the next. My daily routine, demands from work, family and friends all compete for my attention. I go from one thing to the next, giving and doing, meeting my own expectations for myself as well as attending to the needs of others. Sometimes I find that I am not balancing very well at all. I know when I am unbalanced because I become filled with anxiety. That is my cue to myself to slow down, breathe, meditate and write/journal.

In Yoga class, I find that the balance poses throw me off, literally and emotionally. As soon as I hear the teacher cue the class that we will be doing a balance sequence, the anxiety builds in response to my ever-present negative thoughts. “Oh no, I can’t do this” or somethings along those lines. The pose doesn’t matter. It could be tree pose, eagle, dancers pose, flying bird or warrior 3. These poses I can do alone in my home practice. I practice them daily, holding for 10 breath cycles. It is only in class that I fall out of balance.

So what is up with that? Balance. Balance in my life and on the mat. Life is trying to tell me something. Yoga is trying to tell my something. I am aware of it and listening. But I haven’t yet figured it out.

It is a process. It’s all in the journey. The journey of life and Yoga, entwined.