I strive to be a positive source of energy. I work really hard to see the beauty of life around me and feel gratitude for the smallest things. I make it a daily habit to be aware of the moments I am in. I consciously breathe in the good and exhale the things in my heart, mind and body that do not serve me.
In spite of my best attempts, there are always Shadows.
These dark spaces in between the light are a constant unwanted companions. They try to hide, looming in wait for me to slip and allow them entry into my thoughts, emotions and to the very core of my heart.
The shadows are my darkest moods. They are my depression and anxiety. It is a constant battle to keep them at bay. I have my coping strategies to lessen the severity of the shadows. I have my daily routine which includes cardio and my Yoga practice, my meditation and positive affirmations. I have my work. It helps me to help others.
But the shadows remain. They always will. They have been passed down to me from the generations of my family tree. The disproportionate amount of chemicals in my brain is beyond my control.
Even on the brightest days, warm with sunshine and blue skies, the shadows are there. In the overlooked corner of a room, under a canopy of green leaves, in the small dark spaces between the rocks that make up a wall bordering the road.
But I have my weapons, and I have trained long and hard. The battle rages on in this war of shadows, but I have the upper hand. I am a warrior of hope. I am a warrior of strength. I am a warrior of truth. I am me. And when darkness falls, I am ready.